Letting go of graduating 18-year-olds and shooing them out the door can be a difficult time for many parents.

The youngest of my three children is heading out in the fall, and I've been thinking back on my other two angels and how they definitely did what they could do to make our separation easier the summer prior to leaving. It reminded me of when they were 2 years old and went back and forth between being defiantly independent and running into my arms for comfort, reassurance and love. So take heart - they'll help you through the process by becoming as difficult as possible.

At a recent workshop I held on "Empty Nesting," many questions arose about what parents could do in the final few months to best prepare their children for college. Everyone worried about their first year away. All worried if their children would:

• Make friends, or want to come home the first semester.

• Survive academically, or lose that 3.0 grade-point average auto insurance discount.

• Wake up in time to go to class, or need mom to call every morning to make sure they were up.

• Be able to stick to a budget within the boundaries agreed upon.

• Be smart enough to avoid public intoxication and passing out, or if dad should install a video camera on the child's baseball cap or purse.

And, more importantly, can they survive without mom and dad, and can we survive without them?

In general, you've had 17-18 years to instill ethics, behavior and values in your child - they are fully baked in who they are. To avoid future friction, experts recommend that you sit down ahead of time and outline your expectations. You know your child best, so figure out the ideal time and place for such a discussion - over breakfast, while skiing, at a family meeting or perhaps in the middle of the night when they are most vulnerable.

Important areas to discuss include:

• Finances. Alison Salisbury from Fiscally Fit, who works with clients with college-age children, told me about one client's daughter who was consistently overdrawn because she didn't understand that when she took cash out of the ATM, the balance might not include the most recent charges. Each overdraft cost approximately $35. It mounts up. Your students need to understand the responsibilities and basics of banking and charge accounts. They also need to know what you will cover versus what they will be responsible for.

• Laundry. Make sure they know how to run a washer and dryer. You would be amazed how many new bright-red T-shirts still make it in with the whites. Of course, tie dye is still popular on many campuses.

• Food. Teach them how to cook at least one basic meal, even if it's Top Ramen in a microwave. And yes, pizza is a complete protein and can be eaten for breakfast.

• Academics. Let them know your expectations and how low they can go on the grade scale before there are ramifications from you as well as from their school.

• Social life. Use the time to discuss drug abuse (alcohol and pharmaceuticals), and include a refresher course on birth control - whichever method you support.

• Medical. Make sure your child has had the Hepatitis B vaccine, as well as Menactra, a newer vaccine for meningitis, specific to the strain that appears to haunt the halls of college dormitories. Review their regular prescriptions, if any. It's also a good idea to review the insurance offered through the school. Often the school has a better policy for on-campus clinic needs, then your insurance works as a backup. It's smart to send a first-aid kit.

• Weight. Warn your children about the dreaded "Freshman 15" - the 5- to 15-pound weight gain many students experience during the first year of college. A gentle reminder could encourage them to eat healthfully.

• Counseling. It's good to see the kinds of counseling the college offers in case of problems with depression, weight, substance abuse or relationships.

• Packing. Review the supplies list for the dorms, and prepare students for what they can and cannot fit in their new small space. Everything on the floor at home will not fit in their new closet space.

• Communication. When will they hear from you and how often do you expect to hear from them? Clarify whether you expect a response on your text or voicemail, and which method you want them to use to contact you back. Remind them how quickly they respond to their friends and that you expect the same courtesy.

With any luck, you and your child will survive the first year. Some get through it easier than others - but as a parent, it never hurts to be prepared. So give them a pat as they go out the door and keep an eye on them from afar. But just like baby birds, some take to flight easier than others. Eventually they all learn to fly. Now we parents are free to spread our wings again and start to plan the next great adventures in our lives.